Tuesday, 9 June 2009

I hear that Karen is making many concessions as she joins the over 50 crowd, here are her top ten:
1. She will no longer jog for 20 miles without a water break.
2. Bob will no longer be put to shame by his wife outpacing him on their weekly biking trips.
3. The Bethesda male will no longer see her in a mini skirt and a plunging neckline at the same time.
4. Poor ole George will no longer have to do a triathalon to keep up with his daughter on vacation.
5. Alas, Dan will no longer have a MILF to contend with.
6. The long suffering Zoey can throw away that sock that was constantly tied to the bedroom door when the Corker's came to visit.
7. Mary will now have a full time partner.
8. I will only have to buy walking shoes once a year instead of every thirty days.
9. The book club will no longer have debates at their monthly meeting.
10. Georgia will now be the extrovert in the family.
And if you believe all that, you definitely don't know Karen! Happy Birthday my friend and may blue skies and happy trails follow you all year long.
xoxox Wendyb
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4 comments:

  1. Andy C10 June 2009 at 15:01

    A sock on the door? I can only believe that that is some sort of weird transatlantic perversion...now, a pair of gentleman's nether garments tied to the shower head, that I COULD understand...

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  2. Mary Abbajay10 June 2009 at 15:16

    A full time partner???? I'm not sure I can handle Miss Bossy Boots full time! Pass me the Xanax!

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  3. wsilver17214 June 2009 at 17:42

    KAREN BEDELL

    Sadly, Karen it took 4 of us to create this.

    K is for Karing or Krap because when Karen cares about something she really cares and when she doesn’t, she couldn’t give a crap.
    A is for anti-biotics and the funny way Karen says that word. A is also for articulate which Karen definitely is and we are struggling to be right now.
    R is for road-runner which we hope Karen continues to be…we also hope, with her old age, she continues to be regular (may need to add some prunes to the diet).
    E is for excitable because Karen has such a low threshold for what she can find excitement in (this is a good thing)
    N is for the nasty diaper we left as a souvenir in your basement when the girls were babies
    B is for brilliant. Because we think Karen is and Karen thinks all good ideas are. B is also for Bethesda which Karen wants to get closer and closer to so she can walk home. B is also for Bob and bike-riding, two of the greatest loves in Karens life.
    E is for easy to please because in many great ways, Karen is.
    D is for debating because the fact the Karen enjoys this is undebatable.
    E is for enthusiasm because Karen brings this to so many things. E is also for euthanize which Karen tried to do to her cat…poor Spike.
    L is for laughter, love and lovely chocolates because that is what we wish for Karen
    L is also for lots of love from Nancy, Bill, Zak, Emmy and Katie

    We’re going to start working on a real poem now for when you turn 60!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY

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  4. NOLAYAT15 June 2009 at 20:10

    I met Karen about a year and a half ago in spin class at the local YMCA. I was surprised to learn that she and her Bob live less than a block away in my neighborhood!

    While socially she appears to be well adjusted, her hidden side is exposed in spin class. In a year and a half of spending most of my Monday and Thursday evenings with Karen I have discovered that her husband NEVER attends any of her classes! This should be a clue….

    So I show up for my first class and discover the following:
    WE ARE ON THE CLOCK NOW!
    We have a good warm up, about 15 minutes. Karen is full of talk; I think she was discussing a recent movie.
    Ten minutes into the class I discover that she is hyperactive. She announces that we are now going to do 30 minutes of nonstop kick butt spinning. Did I mention that Karen is not a math major? A one hour class, less 15 minutes warm up and 5 minutes of stretching should yield 40 minutes, which she conveniently calls 30 minutes. Did I mention she also regularly announces 30 second aggressive climbs that are extended 15 seconds at a time because “you can do ANYTHING for 60 seconds”, maxed out the entire time (S#!+, she IS killing us)?

    So we are doing my first 30 (40) minute climb (did I mention there are NO down hills in her classes?) and I’m about out of any extra capacity to move oxygen from my lungs to my legs and the next thing I know she has spliced in Who Let the Dogs Out (http://www.amazon.com/gp/dmusic/media/sample.m3u/ref=dm_sp_smpl?ie=UTF8&catalogItemType=track&ASIN=B000SZILJ4) into her music track!

    Now, if you have ever been on a bike and found yourself being chased by a dog, you know that the sound of a barking, chasing dog results in a primal, visceral, self preservation reaction. I know from experience that I don’t have to out run the entire group (class), I just have to drop one person.

    And, because Karen is the only one in the front of the class that I can see, I’m now thinking I have to out pedal her! I’m standing up and cranking my heart out and conclude the only reasonable explanation for my situation…. She HAS to be faking it. SHE STILL HAS LUNG CAPACITY TO DEMAND A STRONGER EFFORT. Every time she yells at us to crank it one turn to the right, SHE CAN’T actually adding a turn on to her bike, she must be passing her hand over the knob and not increasing her level of work.

    One more thought and I’ll let Karen enjoy her birthday. She has trained disciples in the fine art of spinning. When she travels on business she deputizes one to take her class. Guess what? They make Karen look like a girl scout! After reading the other postings I realise (realize for you UK folks) that this is an absurd statement about Karen

    Karen: Have a great 50th birthday and 50 more.
    Larry B

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